An unpopular opinion

A couple summers ago I was fortunate enough to go to Europe for three weeks. While most would be excited to go see the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre and the Colosseum, I wanted to see Port Aventura, Europa Park and the Disneyland Paris Resort. With my first DLP day spent almost exclusively in Disneyland, the next day was almost completely dedicated to Walt Disney Studios. For those who haven’t been to these two parks, Disneyland Paris is like Disneyland lite and Walt Disney Studios is like Hollywood Studios lite. I was pleasantly surprised by Space Mountain Mission 2, Phantom Manor, Rock n’ Rollercoaster, Crushes Coaster and Cinemagique (tied for best show I’ve ever seen). I won’t go into my feelings on Indiana Jones or Ratatouille, but what I will get into is Toy Story Land.

Toy Story Land in WDS has three flat rides: A launch tower, a Caterpillar and a shuttle coaster. If you’ve been to your local fair, you’ve been on all three of these. All of them are located outside, so inclement weather makes them inoperable. The capacity of these rides is a tick over zero, and since you’re in a Disney park, you’ll have to wait in very long lines for (basically) nothing. There’s no food option and good luck with getting TS merch. With Ratatouille taking the cake as the worst attraction (compared to the hype), Toy Story Land was the most disappointing use of IP I’ve ever seen in a Disney park. When the announcement came out that they were doing away with Pixar Place (although not explicitly stated) and instead focusing on building another Toy Story Land; I was crushed.

I envisioned Imagineering brokering a back alley deal with Ticket Taker Tom for his used carny rides. WDI would add some nuts and bolts, slather some paint on and rubber stamp the attractions for ops. More and more it’s as if the R&D money has gone out of attraction development and into other things like outdoor theming (the one positive of WDS’s Toy Story Land). All the while, the time table balloons out of control. Instead of a mess, we got a boutique land that was just what the doctor ordered!

Why Toy Story Deserves its place in Hollywood Studios

First off, everyone’s a fan. While I’ve never seen Frozen and I don’t like the Lion King, I love Toy Story. To this day, I get into arguments on why Mulan is one of Disney’s best movies; but I’ve never had to make a case for Toy Story. People might disagree on how good the sequels were, but no one has ever said that Toy Story 1 was a “bad movie”.

It’s a franchise. While Walt Disney World is late green lighting this IP, Toy Story is a three movie franchise. The brand global, making 1.97 BILLION dollars in the box office. DVD, digital, apparel and merch numbers? I won’t bore you with that because the 2 billion dollars speaks for itself.

The characters are iconic. Buzz or Woody? This was a popular question when the movie first debuted. The EVIL Emperor Zurg is great villain, and dare I say, more enjoyable to watch than Darth Vader (on whom he’s based). Sales of Mr. Potato Head increased over eight-hundred percent after Toy Story came out and the manufacturer of Slinky Dog had been out of business ten years before Toy Story resurrected Slinky Dog from the dead.

It was the first, feature length, computer animated film. This is HOLLYWOOD studios after-all (for right now); the park that celebrates music, television and film. While Disney’s not going to make a show for the first 3D film (The Power of Love), a ride for the only silent film to win best picture (Wings) or a land for the first PG-13 film (Red Dawn); they made a land for a paragon of a movie. Although, they could always move Snow White and the Seven Dwarf’s coaster to the studios (the first animated feature film).

Nostalgia is King

For those who aren’t athletic millennials, you probably wouldn’t know about the resurgence in games like dodgeball and kickball. In almost every town you can find a league for one, if not both, of these nostalgic sports from our childhood. The comebacks that are easier for all ages to recognize are shows like Rosanne, Stranger things, half the movies in Hollywood and all of the song beats. While I’m a huge fan of originality, Nostalgia is what sells, so that’s what’s making a comeback.

Toy Story Land is nostalgia at its finest! Babybel Cheese sponsors the restaurant. Animal crackers and oreos are built into the design. Rubix Cubes, Yo-Yo’s, Tinker Toy’s, used popsicle sticks, bendy straws; the list goes on and on. While Disney doesn’t want to build a nine figure land on a fad, WDI did a great job of incorporating the current pulse in a timeless way.

The Lighting Package is insane

Like Pandora, you haven’t really seen this land if you haven’t been here at night. Beyond the Christmas lights strung over the walkway, the attractions are taken to a different level. The feel of Alien Swirling Saucers changes from the bland Tea Cups to a late night, kinetic disco (albeit in some strange alternate dimension).  The track of Slinky Dog Dash lights up dynamically, with the coaster being the main draw. When you’re on the ride, it starts simply enough; green lights pressing you forward, objects illuminated. The real magic is at the second launch point, with lights and sounds pairing together seamlessly. Even Wheezy the Penguin gets the spotlight!

Family is First

Before this expansion, these were the rides at DHS:

1. Tower of Terror
2. Rock n’ Rollercoaster
3. Star Tours
4. Toy Story Midway Mania

You could include The Great Movie ride if you like, but even then, only 1 ride in the park was for the little ones. Depending on the age, the kid would likely enjoy pulling the string more than playing the game. Couple this with the Star Wars expansion and Disney is missing a chunk of their market. Even with rumors coming out daily about Galaxy’s Edge, there are zero rumors about a children’s ride. I’d have to guess that the attractions will be on the Young Adult-Adult side because Toy Story Land is all about the family.

Midway Mania was already the only ride that the little ones could enjoy. Alien’s Swirling Saucers (I really wanna abbreviate this one) is the only true blue kid’s ride in the park. And since I absolutely love step-ups in theme parks, Slinky Dog is astonishing. In the same fashion that a child could go from the Great Goofini to Seven Dwarf’s Mine Train to Big Thunder Railroad; a kid could also grow to get comfortable with SDD, before braving RnRC. The true genius lies in the launch. SDD has not one, but two launches; the second one feeling faster than the first. They’re both magnetic launches which is a smoother, slower accelerating launch versus other launches. RnRC is a catapult launch; likely the fastest accelerating launch out there (I’m no engineer, but it feels harder than all other tire launchers).

The Imagineers didn’t just do their homework, they turned it in, and got an A!

It’s Expandable?

This, I’d garner, is the million dollar question. Taking a look at the overhead, if they wreck the Cast Member parking garage and admin offices [you can see both in the picture], they could build north. Unfortunately, I don’t think Toy Story Land will be at the “Harry Potter” level of success needed for a land grab like that. However, one thing I think TSL will have, is longevity. It’s going to be that slow and steady that gets families to return again and again (granted the wait times stay reasonable).

Why would I talk about expansion?

Hollywood Studios is going through a much needed overhaul from the barely boutique park Eisner opened. Even with the added attractions (including Mickey’s Runaway Railway and SW:GE), the park will only have a sliver of the ride capacity of Magic Kingdom. The park could see twenty mil through the gate, but they can only do it with more to keep guests occupied. Beyond the lacking throughput, Woody’s Lunchbox is a bit of a mess. It’s amazing food (don’t get me wrong), but they underestimated its popularity. I think Disney culinary is crushing it with all of the new stuff, so they should expect more guests at the windows than they can handle. Right now, at Woody’s LB, it’s not possible; but with an expansion, we could have an array of options that keep Disney’s stock flying high. They also need a real retail option if the want to both capitalize on Toy Story, as well as nostalgia.

The truth is, Toy Story Land is amazing for what it is; but it isn’t perfect. However, it could become the best land in Walt Disney World (you hear that Galaxy’s Edge, I’m talking to YOU) with a little help. Right now, the land has:

1. An E ticket (TSMM)
2. A D ticket (SDD)
3. And a B ticket (A$$)
4. Street Shows (Toy Soldiers)
5. A quick service restaurant (with limited seating)

If you look at the land in these terms, it’s got more than:

• Liberty Square
• Adventureland
• Animation Courtyard
• Echo Lake
• Africa
• Pandora

Oh, and a little land named WORLD SHOWCASE!

So if they expanded TSL, what do they need to make it perfect?

If you’re following along:

1. One to two dining options
2. One major retail shop
3. Two minor attractions

I think you need both of the dining areas to be indoor; one table service and one counter service. Woody’s Lunch Box is great when it’s not raining, but when it is, there’s nowhere to hide in Toy Story Land. I feel like the table service needs to be a real deal, true blue, Pizza Planet. This could also be a counter service like before, but with the money it’ll take to recreate the arcade games, there’ll need to be a higher check average. Also, if the games are on free play for restaurant guests (somehow tied to a magic band timer for the duration of your meal or an hour), Disney can charge all kinds of money for it! If it starts getting a little slow inside, throw in some exclusive games and watch the reservations fill.

As for the counter service restaurant, I’d say a classic diner that plays episodes of Woody’s Roundup. The problem is that there’s already a diner inside of Hollywood Studios and you’d have to pay to produce a T.V. show that’ll never been see outside of one restaurant. I guess Disney could also put it on its streaming service, but if the show goes mainstream, the entire restaurant concept will go up in smoke.

As for retail, Al’s Toy Barn is the only option (pretty cut and dry here). If you look at the picture from Shanghai, you can see how the theming of Al’s fits the theming in Orlando. Dollar signs are on the wall. Bring the cranes back!

Knowing what I know about Star Wars, the Runaway Railway and potential door’s coaster, I think we need to throw the kid’s stuff in here. I’d like to see a Toy Story omnimover or something like Mike and Sully to the Rescue (a guilty pleasure ride of mine). If not this, then a Toy Story water ride fashioned like a slip and slide. Without this, Hollywood Studios will be without a water ride for the next ten years (minimum).

The second thing that would be brilliant is a covered show. One in which we’re invited into Andy’s “room” and get to watch him play with his Toys. Think about the opening of the first Toy Story, but in live form. They could do 2-4 different shows a day on the same stage (since they won’t need stunt actors). With two crews, and the load/unload time of a big theater, they could run it (pretty much) continuous. For those who haven’t got the visual, watch THIS for a couple seconds and tell me you aren’t entertained!

Agree? Disagree? Don’t care? Pick your poison before writing a comment below. Also, feel free to follow the photo album from my adventures at vsco.com/albertawol