INFO: Why Dinosaur is better than Indiana Jones Adventure

Why Dinosaur is better than Indiana Jones Adventure

An unpopular opinion

Every disagreement starts simply enough. You state an opinion, someone else counters that opinion and you both offer up points until someone relents or both agree to disagree. But what happens when you’re in a group and EVERYONE disagrees with you…even when you’re right? Like when an argument arises that we use 10% of our brain and your group agrees? It’s easy enough to breakout your phone, go to Google and show them that 90% of our brain is NOT inactive.

Unfortunately, there is no Google for Theme Park beliefs. Regardless of how heated you get when you tell them that Tower of Terroron the east coast is significantly BETTER than what Tower of Terrorwas in Disney’s California Adventure, some friends just won’t let their home town bias go (regardless of illogical reasoning). Time after time, I share one “crazy” opinion after the next, until I’m drawing comparisons to Sheldon Cooper. Like every time I mention to an acquaintance thatHarry Potter and the Escape from Gringotsis a superior ride to Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey.

In this series, I’m going to offer my beliefs on why (for one reason or many), one theme park attraction is inferior to another

In my first week, I’m going to start off with a doozy. Dinosaur(aka CTX) is a much-maligned attraction that has recently been rumored to be on the chopping block. With Indiana Jones-land rumors swirling Animal Kingdom, most are saying, “where there’s smoke, there’s fire”; but I can’t get excited about seeing one of my top 3 favorite attractions in Orlando leave. I might have a different opinion if the ride that is scheduled to replaced Dinosaur wasn’t:

1. A 20+ year old attraction
2. 1 of my 2 draws to Disneyland (the other being Hyper Space Mountain)…and no, I haven’t gone on Mission Breakoutyet
3. An IP that should have been used in the 80’s or 90’s, but not in the 2020’s
4. Removing Dinosaurs (aka extinct animals) from ANIMAL Kingdom

Alas, I put my pen to paper (or keystrokes to word processor) in an effort to breakdown which one is superior and why.

Like all rides and attractions, I see them in 5 different parts:

• The Setup
  • Where it is and how it fits
• Queue
  • 95% of your theme park experience
• Pre-Show
  • The story appetizer
• Show
  • The story entree
• Post-Show/Exit Queue
  • The story dessert

         Now, let’s get down to where the rubber meets the road!

THE SETUP:

Indiana Jones Adventureis set in the heart of Adventureland (or more specifically, it’s set in the walkway of Adventureland). There’s no arguing that this attraction fits like orange curls on Carrot Top.

Likewise, the Dino Institute also fits perfectly inside of Dinoland USA. As the story goes, there was a fishing lodge off US 498 that unearthed some fossils. Soon thereafter, a paleontologist took up residence and, in an effort to unearth ALL the bones, brought in students to help this bubbling town begin to flow. As the tourists and treasures increased, the lodge became the Dino Institute.

QUEUE:

         The queue is easily the worst part about the Indian Jones Adventureattraction (as you’re never REALLY sure where the queue starts). I’ve started inside the Temple of the Forbidden Eye, I’ve started just outside the temple, I’ve started in the Adventureland Walkway, I’ve started by the Tarzan Treehouse, I’ve started inside the Jungle Cruise queue, I’ve started by the Pirates of the Caribbean queue and yes, I’ve even started by going backwards down the exit and hoping the line (I never said I was proud of my youth). However, once inside the temple, it’s one of the best places on property. The temple is long, but moves quickly and is rich with detail (including Easter Eggs from the former parking lot).

         The queue of Dinosauris what makes this attraction really shine. Starting like any other museum, the exhibits are pretty standard as to what you’d see in Washington D.C. on a family (or school) trip. When you get into the main room, the Carnotaurus is the focal point. With the audience studying the giant dino, Billy Nye (our favorite science guy) talks us through the destruction of the dinosaurs. After we’ve been told one of two stories, we’re let into the pre-show to hear about the time rover.

         With majority of your attraction experience (if not the theme park experience at large) spent in the queue, it’s no surprise that it should be weighted as high (if not higher) than all the other parts of the attraction. Comparing my hundreds of experiences in both lines, Dinosaur wins 10 out of 10 times.

PRE-SHOW:

         The pre-show portion of these attractions is pretty comparable. Both set up the adventure, lace comedy throughout and somehow manage to get in a safety spiel.

THE SHOW:

         I can already see that most of you (if not all of you) who have ridden both attractions are nodding your heads. Unfortunately my friends, this is where our beliefs must part ways.

         I’m a sucker for story, tip to tail, head to ground. So, if we’re going into the temple to find Indy, and we find him right in the front, why don’t we just turn around and go back to the loading area? (Spoiler Alert) In Dinosaur, we haven’t accomplished our ‘mission’ until the last possible second. It’s also very believable that everyone else in line behind us is going to the ‘early cretaceous period’ (as Dr. Marsh indicates in the pre-show); but why is everyone else in Indy getting on a vehicle and taking a tour? How many EMV (enhanced motion vehicle) lead temple tours can there be in one temple anyways?

         There’s no arguing that the size, scale and effects that the Indiana Jones Adventurecreate are magnificent; but I also love the dark, close quarters feel of Dinosaur. On the believability scale, driving a vehicle outdoors is straightforward. Like in every great ride, there must be iconic moments. Indiana Jones Adventurehas the Chamber of Destiny, Mara’s bridge and the boulder scene. Dinosaurhas the transporter room, the drive in complete darkness and the meteor crash. One of the best subtle things about Dinosauris the call back of the Carnotarus (from the queue) who is hunting you throughout the entire journey.

The element that puts Dinosaurover the edge is the “ticking clock”. Since ‘ticking clock’ is from film (and almost never seen in theme parks), the best way to understand it is how Alfred Hitchcock explains it using surprise and suspense.

Surprise is when two people are having a seemingly unimportant conversation then BOOM, a bomb goes off killing them both. “Suspense is very different. You tell the audience that there’s a bomb under that chair, and will go off in five minutes, and make them wait”.

Dinosauruses the meteor shower as the “ticking clock” on our journey; we know that once we’ve crossed a certain time limit, it’s all over for us. On the other-hand, the Carnotarus provides surprise as he pops out again and again. Surprise gags are a dime a dozen in theme parks (especially Halloween events), but suspense is used few and far between (the only time that comes to mind is Body Wars). Both of these elements work together like peanut butter and chocolate, using the script elements to drive the thrills on this adventure. Going into the details of the script, there are several memorable lines from Dinosaur.

“IDENTIFY”

“Computer, evasive maneuvers. Right, Left, RIGHT, LEFT!”

“They’re not gonna make it, THEY’RE NOT GONNA MAKE IT……

…..you made it! And guess who made it back with you?”

The only lines that have me quoting Indiana Jones Adventureare in the next section…

POST-SHOW/EXIT QUEUE:

         Indy has the better wrap-up due to our iconic hero’s animatronic; although he’s not voiced by Harrison Ford (for a good read, look up John Pavel and why Harrison turned down voicing Indy on the ride). When I’m walking around the park, I frequently remind myself, “Tourists…why’d it have to be TOURISTS!?” The animatronic says 6 different lines, but this one of my favorite attraction lines of all time (useful when Brazilian tourists are singing throughout the Space Mountainqueue).

On the other coast, the thing I love from Dinosauris walking into the gift shop and seeing our Iguanodon superimposed across all the security screens. It’s the little things like this that put a bow on a perfectly wrapped present

Agree? Disagree? Don’t care? Pick your poison before writing a comment below. Also, feel free to follow the photo album from my adventures at vsco.com/albertawol